Lotus Flowers & Mud

& some great music

In Buddhist thought there's this idea - this metaphor - that the very beautiful lotus flower grows in the mud. (I think it's from Buddhist thought, though I could be wrong about that.)

You know.

A beautiful thing growing out of not-so-beautiful conditions.

(The photo I've used up top is actually of lily flowers. I can't seem to find a good image of a lotus flower. Are they the same thing?? I'm not entirely sure.)

I was reminded of this lotus-flowers-growing-in-the-mud thing a while back in recollecting to my daughter that her grandfather - that is, my really not-even-the-slightest-bit-nice father - gave her (& her children/my grandchildren) a gift - in teaching me & my siblings a deep skepticism about television advertising.

I grew up in the 1950s, when television was a brand-new medium. My family had a TV, but my father hated the advertising with a real passion. He built a "blab-off" so he could mute all those irritating ads that so offended him. He was quite a bear about this. My siblings & I would often want to see the ads, but he wasn't having it. He was a scary man, so we didn't disobey him. He was adamant about keeping the volume off.

Also, our tv-watching was quite severely limited. Kids at school would talk about such-and-such a TV show, & I'd just kind of nod along, never having seen it.

Dad really was a one-man disaster show. Angry. Mean. Sarcastic. Occasionally violent. I didn't love him, & I was afraid of him. (I was lucky in that he never hit me or sexually abused either me or my sister. It was my mother & brothers who got the really rough treatment. But I definitely feared him.)

Decades later, as an adult - after experiencing another very lotus-flower-in-the-mud situation, I realized that a person can be a mostly negative force - even quite a nasty one - yet still be a channel for some powerfully good things.

My father also modelled a deep love of books & reading, and fostered in me an appreciation for classical music (I am plain crazy about Chopin 🙂 🙂 All piano, really). Writing ability came through his genes.

I've benefited hugely from these gifts. As have my children!

My (now-ex) husband & I passed the TV-limiting habit on to our kids - & now they're passing it along to their own young children by not exposing them much to screens at all in the early years. Definitely not using "screens" to do their child-minding for them.

My kids loved playing outside (we were mighty blessed to have a nice backyard; how lucky we were!) & being with other children (as I had, as a child myself) - & were very creative in their play - always making up fun (often silly) games, or cooking up projects like making birdhouses out of cardboard, etc. They also loved books & reading from an early age. Ahhhh. 🙂 🙂

Dad's "gifts" have now served three generations well. Pretty good track record for such an unpleasant man!

****

I could relate many-many other "lotus flowers in the mud" examples from my own life ... oodles of them, actually!

A very big one was the fact that my divorce - which was hugely heartbreaking for me - led me to my by-now quite long-time gratitude habit. Not too far into the awfulness of it, I realized that, rather than spending all my time lamenting what I'd lost, I needed to start focusing on the blessings that remained in my life ... & these were numerous. (When you make a focused effort to count your blessings, they actually seem to multiply. It’s really rather magical!)

** I've written about gratitude a lot, & amassed a lot of great quotations about it. You can find all that stuff here. As it happens, my now-very-long-time walking habit also dates to this time! Walking is a real life-saver. Lots about walking here.

I'm not trying to argue that we all become “Pollyanna” types, & pretend everything is sweetness & light. I am not a Pollyanna.

To be honest, I strongly suspect we're (our species, I mean) living on borrowed time.

The world does appear to be uniquely full of dark energy these days. Ugh. As I've been known to say, evil really does appear to be on a rampage.

I'm just saying that sometimes shitty stuff can lead, down the road, to some surprisingly positive things.

Lotus flowers, growing in the mud.

I will also admit that there are some nasty muddy - maybe even tar-like! - circumstances I can think of right now. In my "personal" life. In the world. In which I am quite unable to spot any lovely lotus flowers growing. As of yet. Maybe in time - down the road? We shall see, I suppose.

“First comes knowledge, then the doing of the job. And much later, perhaps after you’re dead, something grows from what you’ve done.” – Rumi

Janet

p.s. for the record, my childhood was not all "bad." Dad, being an airline pilot, was often away for days at a time. The atmosphere in our household was much more pleasant during those times. And we kids all spent tons of time outside - a real saving grace. My siblings were good to me, & even shielded me from some of the nasty stuff. My mother, though not "perfect" (who among us is?), was a good & loving mother to me. And eventually, she left my father - one of those "righteous" divorces, in my view. Yes - not all divorce is "bad." Life is too nuanced & complicated for that kind of simplistic view. In my view.

p.p.s. here's a lotus-flower-in-the-mud situation from yesterday: I was on the TTC (Toronto's public transportation system). TTC trips are not always fun, exactly - less & less so as time goes on - & I was on 2 very crowded buses. On the first one, I had a very pleasant conversation with a fellow rider. Friendliness & simple humanity are not dead!

p.p.p.s. in these Covid times (oh how the world has changed since early 2020!?), a "lotus flower" I can spot is that so many real heroes & truth-tellers have come forward to resist evil. To really stand up against it - sometimes at huge personal cost. I am so thankful to them all!

The Music I Promised (all involving piano)

You’re welcome!! 🙂 🙂

& hey. Hang in there. Sure is getting more & more challenging - as we do our best to remain sane. Vaguely sane. In the midst of what we’re all in the midst of. Ai-yi-yi!?